code monkey
by Hobomaster8
Summary: was for pikana odd pairing contest but i was late. can a ape like D.K get a girl like zelda?


***Pikana, I know I may be late with this. I am wondering if you will still rate it?***

I do not own any characters

* * *

"This is the most boring meeting ever." D.K thought as he was stuck in a meeting. He hates this job so much. but here he was listening to his boss R.O.B. a robot that demends perfection. next to him is Mario a short ex-plumber. next to there is Fox and Falco his good friends, Diddy his cousin, Kirby the peppy full of energy puffball and Yoshi a green dino with a big stomach. and then there was him D.K a big ape that hates his job.

"We are out of time you my go." said R.O.B "D.K, my office now."

"Great, what now." He thought

"You're very diligent but your output stinks" said R.O.B "you are late on the homepage for our website and we need it now!"

"Then why don't you make the homepage your self" D.K thought. he didn't dare say it out loud he's not crazy just proud.

"if you don't do it you are fired"

* * *

In his cubical he was munching on some Fritos and thinking about the receptionist. She was very pretty with her long hair and perfect smile. He looks at a picture of them at a party. he sighed he only work here to see her.

Her name was Zelda. She about 5.7 in height 28 years old she has brown hair. she cam from a place called Hyrule. She is part royalty and she just broke up with her boyfriend. He can't remember his name.

But look at him an ape at 31 years old for crying out loud he's not worthy for her but he tries and tries and tries to get her.

* * *

He went to the front desk were she was. "just be cool man" he muttered to himself

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I like your sweater."

"Thank you"

"Do you want a soda I can bring a cup and some ice?

"no thank you soda makes me fat and I'm on a diet plus the phone keep on ringing so there no time to chat "Zelda said .

"Oh sorry to bother you" He said.

"I am so stupid" he muttered on his way back to his cubical "I could of complement her and told her she not fat but I said nothing."

back at his cubical he pretended to work he couldn't focus becuse he had alot on his mind but he had to work or his butt was fired. but he had to figure out a way to ask Zelda out. Confused, D.K. decides to go to the vending machine to buy a Mountain Dew.

At the vending machine he saw his friend fox. "Hey man how it going." fox said.

"Not good." sighed D.K

"still trying to get the receptionist in your arm."

"you know?"

"a lot of guys know. six actually."

"great six people mocking me behind my back."

"we don't mock you in fact we are willing to help you!"

"really?"

"yay. you need dinner reservation BAM you got it. need dateing tips BAM you got it. you need a day off BAM i cover for you. you nee"

"i get it. you actually do that?"D.K cut off

"yay. you know it!"

"good i need tips!"

* * *

D.K felt good about himself. he got tips to ask Zelda out and friends to back him up. he was doing good.

D.K. moved nervously up to the reception desk. "Uh, Zelda?" Zelda looked up from her work. Her blue eyes seemed to penatrate deep into D.K.'s soul.

"Yes, D.K.?" D.K. gulped and stammered, "Uh, would you go out with me on a date?"

Zelda thought for a moment and D.K. held his breath. "Sure! I'd like that."

"How about tomorrow night? I can pick you up around 6:30?"

"I'm looking forward to it, D.K."

D.K. smiled a sheepish grin and wandered back to his cubicle. He tried to concentrate on his work, but his mind kept thinking about tomorrow's date.

He decides to go to the store to buy some flowers as Fox said. He then went to the library to pick up some books about poetry and decided to get a new suit just as Fox suggested.

* * *

It was was the night of the date. D.K. was about to knock on the door. He ran through his list.

"Okay, flowers...check. Monkey suit...check. Reservations...check. Romantic poems memorized...check." He knocked.

Zelda opened the door and D.K. stared stupidly as Zelda stood there beautifully dressed in a crimson gown.

D.K. stammered, "Are you ready?" Zelda nodded. "Let me grab my purse." She grabbed the purse and walked out the door, closing the door behind her.

At the restaurant, D.K. searched his mind for something to talk about. He started with the basics. "What do you like to do in your free time, Zelda?"

"Not much. I like to go out with friends, am in a book club and like to play tennis. Which reminds me of a time when I went out with Link--" She stopped and looked down at her plate. "Sorry," she said. "I should have mentioned that I just got out of a relationship with him."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Well, you know what they say...'It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.'"

"You don't know Link very well." she said under her breath. D.K. decided to switch to another topic and they chatted happily for the rest of the date.

The date went extremely well D.K. thought to himself as he drove home after dropping her off at her house. "Maybe I will ask her out again."

* * *

D.K. sits in the office lobby waiting to talk to Zelda about last night.

"Did you have a good time last night?"

"I had a great time, D.K."

"I was wondering if you would like to go on ano---"

There was a loud slam from behind.

"Zelda!" A voice cried out.

"Oh my gosh, Link! What are you doing here?"

A muscular, blonde haired man in his late 20s strode towards the desk. D.K. recognized him as Zelda's old boyfriend, Link.

"Who's this new boyfriend of yours, Zel?"

"His name is D.K. and he is not my boyfriend. We just went on a date."

"A likely story," Link said as he reached the desk.

"Hey! Leave her alone! It's none of your business what she--Auuggh!" Link lunged for D.K., grabbed his throat and began choking him.

"Link, stop that, please!"

"Once I am done with your boyfriend I am coming for you!"

That got D.K. angry. In a rage D.K. rips from Link's grasp and shoves him away.

"Oh, so now you want to fight?" Link yelled. He ran at D.K. with an upraised fist. D.K. took the blow head on and countered with a blow to Link's stomach. Link staggered backward gasping for breath. Recovering, Link renewed his attack with a kick to D.K.'s chest.

D.K. slammed into the wall behind him. Momentarily stunned, he shook off the confusion and ran at Link, grabbing him by the waist and throwing him over the receptionist desk, narrowly missing Zelda. Zelda screamed and ran to get help as Link pulled himself up. Link grabbed the closest item at hand. He hurled the stapler at D.K. D.K. smacked the stapler out of the air, but it was only a distraction. Link was already over the desk, jamming an elbow into D.K.'s stomach.

D.K. grabbed his side and hunched over in pain. Link brought a chair down across D.K.'s back. Slumping to the floor, D.K. lay still in pain.

"Now to find your girlfriend," Link spat and turned from D.K.

D.K. stirred. His mind raced over what he knew was going to happen next. Mustering all his strength, D.K. pulled himself to his knees. Link turned back.

"Oh, you want another round?"

Link charged D.K. as the ape stood up. D.K. was ready this time and struck Link full force in the face, launching Link into the air and back over the desk. D.K. finally found the words that he'd been looking for.

"Are you ready to give up, Link?"

"Not even close," raged Link, grabbing the letter opener from the desk and lept over the desk, charging D.K. again, weapon in hand.

Link's first blow was wide. The second caught D.K.'s sleeve, slicing through to skin, blood welling at the wound. Link elbowed D.K. in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Now I've got you, you filthy monkey!" Link raised the letter opener, ready to strike.

"Put...that...down!" Link swung around to see to uniformed officers with guns drawn, beads drawn on Link's chest.

"Cuff the scumbag, partner!" The shorter officer approached Link.

"Put those hands behind your back!" Link obliged, defeated.

"Let's get some help for the ape." the officer said leading Link away. "Another case solved by Captain Falcon and Snake!"

"For the last time, Bernard" the other officer glared, "my name is Nathaniel, and I am NOT using code names!"

As the police left the office, D.K. could hear Bernard saying, "Awww, come on! It's cool!"

Zelda rushed into the room, followed by other office workers, including Fox and Falco. "Is he gone?" she cried.

"Yeah. Yeah, he's gone." D.K. panted.

Two EMTs burst through the door. "Who needs the medical help?" Falco pointed to D.K. The EMTs ran to D.K.'s side to check his injuries.

"You look like you are going to be fine. No serious damage. But I wouldn't be playing any sports for awhile." D.K. nodded in agreement.

The EMTs finished and left and the office workers returned to their work, leaving D.K. and Zelda alone.

"Thanks for saving me, D.K.!"

"No problem, Zel."

"I was wondering if you would like to go out again?"

"That would be great, Zel. I'll call you."

D.K. walked gingerly back to his cubicle and Zelda began picking up the lobby.

"Oh, wait, D.K. I forgot something." D.K. turned to face Zelda. She reached her hands up, grasping his face and pulled it to hers, kissing him tenderly on the lips. Zelda turned back to her work. Stunned, D.K. stumbled dazed back to his cubicle.

"Maybe working here isn't so bad after all!" he muttered to himself.


End file.
